


The Unlikely Adventures of Bitchface and Go Fuck Yourself

by bryanfullers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-10 05:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/782568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bryanfullers/pseuds/bryanfullers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sam and Dean get zapped into the real world, where demons, ghosts, and monsters don't exist; but they encounter the most dangerous creature they've ever seen: Misha Collins. The boys stay at Misha's mansion while they figure out how to get back to their own universe, and are forced to put up with his various antics and Mishadventures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unlikely Adventures of Bitchface and Go Fuck Yourself

The first thing Sam noticed was that he wasn't aching.

Waking up every morning on a motel bed eventually took its toll on a man's back, but this morning was different. Sam felt strangely relaxed—almost comfortable, even. The last thing he remembered was laying down on a cheap mattress in their motel room, after staying up late researching strange occurrences in the small town of Silver Springs, Maine. But when he slowly opened his eyes, he saw that he was in a very large, very lavish, but very messy bedroom.

Still extremely confused, he looked around the bedroom, hoping to find some clue as to how he had gotten there, but to no avail. The only clue was the mounds of beer cans and bottles that littered the floor, and the distinct smell of sex was thick in the air. He was suddenly startled by the sound of his phone vibrating on the nightstand next to the bed. As he reached for it, he noticed the caller ID. 

"Dean?"

His brother let out a gruff sigh of relief. "Sammy? Where are you?"

"I don't know," Sam said, now out of bed and walking around the room. "I'm--I'm in someone's bedroom, I think. Where are you?"

"I think I'm in a sex dungeon,” Dean admitted, sounding a bit frightened. “There's chains and whips and I think that's a sw—”

“Okay, I get the picture,” Sam cut him off.

“I'm scared, man. There's a whole bunch of naked guys and chicks passed out around here.”

“How did this happen? The last thing I remember is going to sleep while you were out at the bar."

“Yeah, well, guess who I met at that bar?” Dean paused for dramatic effect.

“Who?”

"Gabriel," Dean announced. "He showed up last night, and starting telling me all someone he wanted us to meet. Said he'd send us there bright and early."

"Where the hell did he send us?”

Dean cursed loudly. "An alternate universe."

"What?"

"His words, dude. Not mine.”

"What do you mean--?" Sam began to ask, but suddenly heard a muffled groaning noise. He turned around and saw two naked women tangled in bedsheets on the floor next to the bed. “Hey, lady, you alright?”

One of the women groaned once more, and promptly went back to sleep.

“What was that?” Dean asked.

“There's—there was—dude, we have to get the hell out of here. Let's find each other first, we can worry about Gabriel later.”

“How the hell are we going to find each other?”

“I don't know,” Sam admitted. “I just need to get out of here. Try to figure out where you are and call me back.”

“Sam! Do not hang up on me!” 

_Click._


End file.
